The Swell Season - Leave (Live on KEXP)

The Swell Season - "Low Rising"

Thoughts on Snow

I look at the snow falling outside on what seems to be a miserable day and I have to ask, "Is snowy winter a consequence of 'the fall'? Is snowy weather an evil? Was the 'Garden of Eden' in a constant state of sunny summer time bliss?" Surely the answer is no. Paradise has seasons. There is a dryness and a barrenness that contributes to paradise. If God set creation into a state of perfect harmony - the cycles and the seasons were extremely important. So as we enter into a season of deep wintery slumber and our hearts wait for Springtime - may we remember that there is snowfall in paradise and that even death resides in a good garden.

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee - Music Video

Little Wonders

Driving down the highway with a young native girl towards her foster home. We had just come from a visit with her mother and her little sister. This is my job - supervised visits with foster kids and their parents, usually right after they're taken from their parents. 

When I first got this job, I didn't really consider just how much my job required me to step into some of the most broken, messy lives possible. Imagine being 10 years old with an alcoholic mother and a violent father. Now imagine it's your birthday party and your mom is drunk and laying in her own vomit on the bathroom floor and your dad is yelling at her through the bathroom door. The door bell rings - you're expecting the pizza man, but instead 2 police walk in. Even at 10 years old you experience the mixed emotions of extreme fear and extreme relief, that someone is finally going to answer your prayers - and get your mom the help she needs. Now imagine that drive in the back of a cop car with your little brother. Where are you going? Will you ever be back? Is your future in your hands in any way?

Tonight, while driving - this girl, who've I've been driving for the last 3 months opened up to me about how she really feels and about her memory of 'that day'. I can't go into detail about the event - but let's just say,  as she shared her story in the way only a shy, broken 13 year old could - it felt like a thousand  hearts were breaking in the seat beside me. She wasn't sad or angry - she spoke matter-of-factly. It's like she understood that no matter what she did - she had no control over what happens next in her life. Part way through her story, she saw an airplane but confused it for a star. She said, "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight - I don't care if you're an airplane - you're the only star I can see." 

I told her that when there aren't any stars she should pray - but smiled and said it doesn't work. I smiled and we drove in silence. After 2 or 3 songs passed on the radio, she said, "I am gonna make a phone call to God tonight". I replied, "me too."

She then put on this CD and played her favorite song and told me about the music video on youtube to it. Here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFqbyvgAkPY&feature=fvw

This city is full of hurting families - we can't even begin to imagine the depth of hopelessness. Do the kids in her school know she's a foster kid? No. No one knows who she is. Sure, they know she's native - and for most people in Calgary, apparently that's all you need to know about someone to figure out that they're not worth knowing. I can't help but wonder if her ethnicity has brought her family to this place. 

I feel a jumble of emotions. Do we pray? Do we go and freaking introduce ourselves to our neighbors? Do we dive into the food pantry to avoid facing the hopelessness? Do we cry? Do we become foster parents? I don't know. But I can't help but suspect that if my eyes were opened to see reality - things like money and hairstyles and paint colors - starbucks and blogs wouldn't mean very much. 

Chaos Among Other Things

You live with a group of people and the main thing you argue over is house cleaning. Some people feel anxious when there is mess - others feel the comfort of a lived- in home. Some people feel anxious when forced to clean, others feel peace when invested in a simple afternoon of folding laundry.
There is a lot of potential for harmony. Potentially, we could rely on each other's strength and we could 'see' what causes anxiety and what causes peace and feed off of each other's positive energy. Rather, we often feed off of each other's anxiety and in one moment the house turns to total chaos. One person can't clean because she's overwhelmed - the other feels content with the current state of the house and so rejects the idea of being forced to do meaningless work. Someone else feels silently responsible for the entire thing and so slaves away. No one talks - chaos takes over our home, our hearts, our identity.

Chaos - the opposite of harmony.

I feel like my job is chaos sometimes and my schedule. There are also the deeper things; my marriage, my family, my emotions. I look on a global scale and I see only Chaos - hurricanes, famine, humans being sold for a pair of shoes.

It says in Genesis that in the beginning, the earth was formless and void: i.e. total chaos. In the beginning there was Chaos. I don't think it much matters the details of the process in which God dealt with the chaos, the point is simply that in the Creation Narrative - God is the hero, and Chaos is the enemy. When God is finished, everything is in a perfect state of harmony. We can hardly grasp the harmony required for us to be able to inhale oxygen - to fight disease - to reproduce. Everything on earth was in a perfect state of balance and everything worked together. The people and their garden - their God and their lover.
It seems to me, this is the story of God's people. Chaos has been the enemy and God has been the hero - triumphing with harmony. Sin causes chaos. Self-centerdness can throw off the balance and send everything into a downward spiral of chaos.

My favorite part of the Genesis is how at the end of the Creation - God takes a Sabbath. It's like it isn't enough for God to put everything into perfect order and harmony - God also takes a day to enjoy it.

As a community we strive for Sabbath. That after overcoming the chaos of sin in our lives by relying on God's example of selfless love - we would live in a state of Sabbath.

We strive to glimpse the Kingdom of Heaven - where Chaos is silenced and harmony is everything; where justice flows like a river.